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Raising Your Children Intentionally In The United Kingdom -By Dele Olawanle



I have lived in the UK long enough to give informed advice on how to raise children. I have seen them in church, in society and in the criminal justice system as a lawyer. I have raised three adult children in the system. I have seen my dear wife work with children for the last 30 years and she ended up with a degree in Early Childhood Studies.

Raise your children well from their early years. There will not be a magical transformation in their growth. There will hardly be a sudden transformation in their development. Whatever you don’t like in their life, you should change as a responsible parent. Children will become a bigger picture of who they currently are. Be particular about their choice of friends. Pay attention to their characters and attitude. Discourage laziness. Instil confidence in them. Tell them they are not inferior. I tell my children and church members regularly.

If you cannot control their association because of the environment that you live in, please change accommodation. Change schools if they keep getting in trouble or you are seeing dangerous traits. We had to move from a particular borough when we saw some bad characters around. One of the boys then had 5 children by the age of 23 and he was not working.

My GP of 32 years is an Asian. He is like a father to me. When my children were very young, he said if I have two houses, I should sell one to put them in private schools to penetrate this society. He said alternatively, I should do everything to get them into grammar schools. I did not understand him then but I do now.

Whilst many African children are becoming TikTok and Instagram nuisances, the Asians are raising their children well, pushing them into private schools, grammar schools and top universities. They are also not letting go of their culture. Their children understand and speak their language. It is my fellow Nigerians that even their children living in Nigeria do not understand their language. We love everything foreign. Sophisticated madness!

Most Asian children in the UK become ‘lawyers, accountants, doctors’ etc before their graduation. How? They work in settings either founded by their parents or relatives whilst still studying. Africans should start setting things up rather than letting our children get work experience in casinos, Tesco or Lidl. Most of their children come out of university with good grades and no debt. Some African children come out with poor grades as they had to work whilst studying to foot some bills. They come out of university with debts they pay for years.

Finally, get involved in your children’s choices of career. Advise them. Counsel them. Don’t make an irresponsible statement that as long as they enjoy it. What they enjoy may not benefit them and can make them ‘slaves’ in the UK system for years. I see a lot of depressed young black people who were frustrated by the system being led by those they were far better than.

They give them jobs and pay them salaries. They systematically abuse them, suppress them and psychologically make them believe they are second-class citizens. Eventually, they get rid of them or they resign out of frustration.

I have so much to tell you but my wife just called me. See you later.

Dele Olawanle is my name. I write and speak to make lives better.

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